1 Name: Zero : 2009-10-12 18:08 [Del]
Just a fun little ghost story, in anticipation of All Hallow's Eve. Kind of like the legend of Sleepy Hollow, but with a modern twist. Enjoy!
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The Curse of the Headless Hooker
By Zero
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Now, don’t you laugh, ‘cause this is gonna sound fuckin’ crazy, and sick, but believe me, it’s true.
See, about ten years back, there was this whore, worked the corners here in L.A. She was one sweet piece of ass; all-natural D-cups, perfect figure, firm ass, long, sexy legs, natural blonde. And she had the hottest face you can think of; big baby blues, lips that could pout so sweet and sexy, then clamp around a fella’s cock and suck him straight to Heaven.
She’d do it with anybody, too; men, women, threesomes, orgies, didn’t matter; she was a genuine nympho, and she advertised it, y’know? Got famous practically overnight.
‘Course, that can be a problem, too. See, she was a self-employed slut; no pimp, no connections, just a hot body and a sex drive like a cat in heat. Turned out her favorite corners were in this one pimp’s territory. Real wackjob, y’know? He tried to make her work for ‘im, she refused. Told her to get offa his turf, she just kept coming back, takin’ his girls’ business.
So, one Monday morning, the cops find her at her corner, blood all over the place. I mean, her head was fuckin’ gone, like some ninja had just sliced it off right there on the street corner, taken it and left her body where she dropped. Cops bag her up, ask the usual questions. Everybody knew it was that psycho pimp, but nobody could prove it.
The morning after, cops go to pull her body out of the freezer, only it ain’t there; fuckin’ disappeared before they could even perform an autopsy. That same night, they find another girl dead; tall, blonde, almost as pretty as the first one. They never found her head, either.
Then, about a week after that, the cops find that pimp on that same street corner where the first hooker died, all dressed up in his purple suit, still wearin’ his bling. And there’s his head, still got his stupid feathered hat on, mouth open like he’s still screamin’ even with his head chopped off.
Over the next month, some of his boys turned up on that same corner, too, heads cut off and stuck beside the bodies. The cops had a fuckin’ stakeout set up, too, but they never figured out how the killer kept doin’ it; it was like the toughs just magically appeared on that same goddamn street corner, no reason, then got their heads chopped off right there on the spot, blood everywhere.
Now, there’s two explanations for this stuff. One is that the dead hooker had a friend, or maybe a steady lover, decided to avenge her untimely demise, y’know? He … hell, maybe it was even a she – she swung every which way, right? Well, anyhow, maybe he or she takes the body, gives the headless hooker a decent burial, all that romantic crap, then goes after the pimp. Before he drives the pimp to the street corner and offs him, he gets the pimp to tell him who he sent to kill the girl, and over the next couple of weeks, he tracks ‘em down, gives ‘em each a real close shave, like, Sweeny Todd-style, right? SShhhkkktt.
‘Course, that version doesn’t explain why the other blonde girl died. She got offed in her own apartment, not on the headless hooker’s corner, so the cops said it was an unrelated thing.
Personally, I think the hooker did it all herself. She wakes up cold and stiff in the morgue, no head, figures out who killed her. She pushes her little deep-freeze drawer open, walks out, then goes to find the pimp and the guys who killed her. Hell, she’d know who they were, right?
‘Course, a dead woman can’t just go walkin’ down Hollywood Boulevard with no head on. Draws attention, plus it’s fuckin’ annoying not to have eyes or ears. You keep bumpin’ into shit, right?
So she goes to one of the pimp’s girls first.
Maybe they’d fought before, over who got which corner. Maybe she just had a pretty blonde head like the one the headless hooker lost, so she decides to borrow it, right?
SShhhkkktt.
Yo, I’m not makin’ this shit up, all right? It happened. Whether you think the pimp and his posse were killed by an old lover, or by the corpse, you believe what you want to. But the thing is, they still find these headless girls every now and again. Not on that same street corner; hell, nobody goes there anymore. But sometimes you read about ‘em in the news – hot young girls, found in hotel rooms, or in their own homes, or in a back alley someplace in town. The fresh girl’s head is always gone, and the last dead girl’s head is lying there instead.
And get this: they’re always blondes.
How should I know why she keeps killing people? Maybe her borrowed heads get old after a while. Or maybe she just hasn’t found one she likes yet; hers was, like, perfect, right? So maybe she’s just looking for another head that’s as pretty as the one she lost.
They say she still does here thing here in town. She always takes a different corner. She wears this black leather collar – thick, y’know? To hide the scar, and she’ll never take it off, not even if you offer her an extra five hundred. She still fucks anybody who’ll let her into their car. Some people say she still charges the same price – maybe she has an apartment in town? Dunno if she still needs to eat; according to the stories, she’s still just as good with her mouth as ever, even if the head isn’t hers. So, maybe.
I heard about this one guy, picked her up one night. Drives to a hotel, they start makin’ out. She starts deep-throatin’ him, and he leans back, and suddenly her head just pops off, right? Still suckin’ and moanin’ and everything. Guy yanks the head off his cock and runs buck naked out of the hotel, gets in his car, then peels out of the parking lot like he was in a race against Satan’s Ferrari.
So, if you’re a guy and you pick her up, you’re probably okay. Hell, I know some guys who look around for her on purpose – some people are into really weird shit, right?
And there are a couple of stories where she goes home with women. Just does her thing. Maybe the other girls pick up some weird vibe, notice the skin on her face is a little lighter or darker than on the rest of her.
And there’s always that wide, shiny black leather collar, with the big steel ring in the center.
But if she gets picked up by another blonde babe, then it’s a whole other story. Oh, they’ll have a good old time; dead or alive, she’s still a grade-A slut, right?
Then, when the blonde is too spent to sit up, the headless hooker reaches into her purse. I heard she carries a hacksaw in there; doesn’t need condoms anymore, I guess, so she’s got plenty of room. She’s real strong – can’t get tired, never out of breath. She just holds the blonde down and starts sawing. Pretty soon, there’s blood all over the place, and presto! One brand new head, fresh off the shoulders.
That’s the only time she’ll take off the collar; it’s the thing holding her borrowed head on, right? She just drops the old one wherever, and as her ghost or whatever goes out of it, the old one dies, and she puts the new head on her neck, wraps the collar around it, brings it back to life. She’ll maybe test it out, sing a few bars in the dead girl’s voice, then hop in the shower, clean herself up, and walk out with a new face, new voice, and some fresh clothes.
Hey, I’m just telling you what I’ve heard. You can call me sick or drunk or whatever, but I’ll say this right now: if you ever see a blonde whore on a corner with a thick black collar around her neck, you’d better just keep on driving, man. Otherwise, you’re gonna get a whole lot more than you bargained for ….
