I know its light on the guro elements but this is my first story ever, so please try not to be to harsh. any tips or constructive Criticism will be aprecaited.
Enjoy!!





August, 9, 2013 9:45 am

I crept through the deserted mall painfully slow. After seeing how Sarah got killed I wasn’t taking any chances. At this point I was all alone well, except for my antiqued M1911 colt .45. The cold heavy gun in my hand made me feel somewhat safer. I saw two shuffling figures about 30 feet ahead of me, there’s no way in hell my aim was good enough to pull off two perfect headshots especially with my World War II relic.
Suddenly I heard a hungry moan directly behind me. I spun around leveling the large handgun at the source of the noise. “Holy shit!” I gasped at the sight of the woman who, a few months ago I saved from her own undead family. Unfortunately for her I wasn’t quick enough to help yesterday.
Her beautiful green eyes were now a milky white. She was now naked except for cotton panties and a tattered t-shirt, which exposed the ragged wounds all over her right arm and shoulder. She wasn’t attacking me. She just stood there staring at me. I knew what was going on. There are three types of zombies (that I’m aware of). The runners, the shufflers, and the rarest of them all, the ones who just wander around in an almost comatose state.
I looked around. The two zombies I saw earlier were now dashing towards me. I waited till they were about 10 feet away, and then pulled the trigger. I hit the first one, a woman in her late twenties in the throat. The bullet tore through her soft neck spraying congealed blood and bits of bone from the massive wound. With her spinal column severed, she fell face first onto the dirty linoleum tiles. Her head made a dull thud as it smashed against the floor.
The second one, a young teenage boy, jumped over the first’s body and was close lined by my second shot. It hit him directly in the sternum, he landed flat on his back. I sprinted over to him, planted my boot on his chest, and fired three times into his head, which exploded. I turned to the first zombie, who was still twitching. i looked at her pretty face which was twisted with rage. i aimed the heavy gun at her face and fired,her brains and blood showed brightly against the white floor.
I looked away with disgust and over to Sarah who just stood there, not even caring that one of her perfect breasts was exposed for the whole world to see. I couldn’t help but stare at her. She had the perfect body, large breasts, beautiful shoulder length black hair, and a large ass that I always teased her about.
From somewhere deep in the mall came an indescribable sound, the sound of several snarling “runners” racing to kill any living thing in sight. “Shit, must’ve heard the shots”
I desperately looked around and saw the malls security office. “Perfect. Time to get the fuck outa here!” I said as I ran over to her.
I grabbed her intact arm and pulled her towards the security office .She half stumbled half ran as I pulled her. I shoved her through the open door and slammed it shut behind me.


August, 9, 2013 10:36 am

There are several zombies wandering around outside the small office. I looked around to find something to push up against the door. The room was relatively bright because of the huge beam of sunlight that shone in through the large window. Thank god we’re on the second floor. I thought. The view from security offices window covered the entire parking lot which was littered with dead bodies and empty cars.



August, 9, 2013 11:02 am

After I blocked the already sturdy door with the security officer’s desks, I walked over to Sarah. I noticed a strong urine scent coming from her, and saw why.
Before we had been ambushed she had been complaining about needing “to go take a piss”. And then without warning an undead trio grabbed her and dragged her into an open store. She most likely fled, ran until the infection killed, and reanimated her and urinated herself. She’d been wandering the mall aimlessly ever since.
I pushed her onto an old couch. Pushed her legs apart and slowly removed her piss soaked panties. I realized right at this moment that I was in love her. Fighting and struggling to survive brought us close together over the course of three months. And now she was little more than a mindless docile animated corpse. I threw her disgusting soiled underwear over my shoulder.
I opened my bag and pulled out a water bottle, an ace bandage, and a small rag. I bandaged up her mangled arm. I knew it wouldn’t make a difference but couldn’t just leave it. I wet the rag and began washing her exposed pussy. I felt my dick grow hard as she let out a sorrowful moan.
Her pussy was a little hairy from lack of shaving, but I could’ve given a shit less. Before I knew what I was doing I had my mouth clamped around her light brown nipple and a simultaneously slipped two fingers into her cold slimy pussy. Her nipple tasted slightly salty. I ripped off her tattered shirt in frenzy. I knew that what I was doing was wrong but couldn’t help my self, she was just too beautiful. I stopped sucking on her stiff nipple and pulled down my pants. I pushed my dick into her pussy slowly. Her bush tickling the head of my dick as it went in. at first I cringed at how cold and slimy it felt but then gave in to my own lust as I began pumping. I was surprised at how tight and wet her pussy was. I fucked her harder and harder until I blew my hot load inside her. I slumped onto the couch panting. My seed slowly leaked from her dead pussy.

August, 9, 2013 11:40 am

I grabbed her by she shoulders and pushed her down onto her hands and knees. She looked up at me and moaned, as if she knew what was coming. I knew I was infected from having unprotected sex with her, but didn’t care less, everyone that I had ever loved was dead. My dick was all ready hard again I pushed my dick into her tight anus. The pleasure actually took my breath away as I began to pump softly. It wasn’t as wet as her pussy but was much tighter. She groaned every now and then from the stimuli I provided with my shaft. I lasted much longer this time. Her soft tits swayed back and forth as I fucked her, I reached under her and grabbed one and felt her soft weight. I leaned foreword so my chest rested against her cold back which helped cool me down considerably. I grunted as I reached my orgasm. My hot cum poured from her cold anus. I lay down on the tile floor so she was directly above me. I kissed her on her mouth, which tasted surprisingly good, or maybe the infection was starting to fuck with my brain. I stroked her cold tongue with mine, the second time I ever kissed her.




August, 9, 2013 6:30 pm

I’m tired now. I can’t concentrate on writing. Sarah is with me watching the sunset, the last one I’ll see as a human. I contemplated suicide, decided against it though. Here I’ll stay, in this mall for all of eternity with the one I love. I had a good run, couldn’t hack it. So here I’ll stay. I have my favorite song on repeat. After I’m done writing, I will sit down on the couch next to Sarah. Close my eyes, and go to sleep as the sun sets. In a few hours I will be nothing but a walking corpse. God i sound like such a girl.

You're talented. Write more plz!

how about sequel where a couple finds the main character from this story and sarah, and then kills them both and struggles to survive, im thinking about making this character a little more badass. mabye a cop and his female partner.

some ideas would be helpful ,so if you have any please post.

Not bad at all, I just recently had a deathknight session and this struck a familiar cord :) I'm a huge Night of fan and this, this I could see happening o.0

The cop and his female partner thing could work but it's so been done :P Maybe siblings, since the laws of decency have been all but shattered in a world like this.

Or something more..sinister..

Overall very GOOD :3 Though I don't know if the infection, base on whose universeyou base it on, would be spread via intercourse though..we never truely explore it in a sense with the mainstream "rules" of the three main universes :)

i actually fabricated the ifection rules. kinda like a combination of worldwar Z, and Zach Snyders Dawn of the dead.
im working on a sequel right now, and its going to bet alot goreir.

It was a bit short, plus you made it into a journal and wrote in first person current. All in all, it was pretty good. Keep going.

TL;DR version: Not bad. Guns work different, though.

Not too bad. Few small spelling gaffs, and I'm a big fan of double-line spacing between paragraphs, with particular indendation for headings.

Good roll for the characterisation, though =) As a real-world physics notion, BTW, the major things that drop a body from being shot is trauma and shock.

A .45 does -not- have stopping power against anything but a "soft" target - like a living person who will fall over from shock and pain if you hit them with a round. Unless your zombies can feel and register pain, or can die from adrenaline shock, a single round won't knock one over - they'll keep walking as if you'd just tickled them.

Case in point - ever see a martial arts display where a guy punches a cinderblock? And puts his hand through it? A punch can physically knock someone over. Now shoot a .45, hell, even a .50AE at one. Nada, but a small hole.

Small issue, really, but I's handled real guns on real people, and it's a noticeable thing for me. It's just me being picky, esp. in the light of it being a good read!

Keep up the good work!

>>7 iknow that a bullet woundnt have enough mass or kinetic energy to close line a person, acording to newtens laws. but i was going for a visceral action sequence. Anyways the sequel is going to be more relistic, longer ,and much gorier i should be done in a few days.

thanks for the encouragement!!!