First of all - I don't think that amputees have easy lives in the slightest. I also feel immensely guilty for feeling the way that I do.
I guess that that silly Japanese term 'hikikomori' applies to me, also. /Background
Anyone here understand what it's like to desperately want to be an amputee?
Ever since I was a kid I have always had that fleeting urge, "Quick, throw yourself into the road before that bus." I am constantly plagued with thoughts of wanting to be attacked and seriously harmed but never killed. Someone who has actually experienced this must just want to punch me in the face.
One thing I crave a lot is amputation. For some unknown reason, I just feel like my life would be more validated if I lost an arm or a leg.
Anyone empathise?
I hear ya.
I've always wished for bad things to happen to myself, and i have more than once thought it would be okay to lose a leg. Unfortunately/fortunately I have become very sick, and my own wishes ended up becoming more or less true. I wont lose a leg, no. But my legs will possibly become paralyzed in the next couple of years, same goes with other parts of my body, but its only a maybe. It cant be predicted, but right now i cant feel my legs any more, and they are hard to move.
tl;dr
I'm lucky/unlucky
also, i don't think you can call yourself a hikky, since its incredibly rare it happens outside of japan. Being a hikky means you don't leave your room/apartment, ever. You don't go grocery shopping, job searching and so on. I think the definition is something like not leaving apartment/room for at least 6 months.
Actually, "hikikomori" exist all over the world.
I'm not quite as bad, however I do very rarely leave my bedroom. I don't eat properly, I suffer with depression, sleep too much, am immensely inactive, and suffer with really bad anxiety so am generally too terrified to do anything.
I can only leave the house if I'm accompanied.
>>3
There you have it. You said you left your house, so you're not a hikky. You most likely suffer from an anxiety disorder of some sort.
And yes they do exist outside of Japan. Its just incredibly rare.
>I can only leave the house if I'm accompanied.
Leaving the house without anyone to hang out isn't nice. That's boring. Even though, I wouldn't consider myself a hikikomori. I spent 90% of my time inside the house, so I can use the internet to interact with people more often than I would do in real life.
Personnally, I don't like to be in huge groups of people, so I choose to have just a few friends. But I don't think that's an aspect connected directly with hikikomori. I think they are still very rare and recluse to japan.
>You most likely suffer from an anxiety disorder of some sort.
Really? I think it's just a matter of life style. On my opnion, people who are very sociable tend to have some sort of attention seeking disorder. Those who are not used with a different life-style/culture will usually "nick-name" that with which is unknown to them.
The only problem that really bothers me in real life, is when I have to make some kind of public appearance/public speaking. But once again, that characteristic isn't unique to people who recluse themselves at home. Actually, more than 60% of the population has that kind of anxiety. Which means it's normal.
>Anyone here understand what it's like to desperately want to be an amputee?
I think you just need someone cuddly and cuddle to cuddle with you. =3
>I just feel like my life would be more validated if I lost an arm or a leg.
How untrue that is. Actually people with any sort of deficience tend to be less validate than a normal person. Not only physically and psychologically speaking, but also socially speaking.
It depends - do you feel that you want to lose a limb, or do you feel having all 4 limbs as a disfigurement in itself and experience some sort of crushing pain and despair? If so, see a psychiatrist, you may have BIID (body integrity instinct disorder - defect in the "hey, that's me!" instinct, similar to transsexualism)
Well I'm actually a pre-op FtM transsexual, so. XD I've got enough on my plate with my psychologist at the moment.
Then, depending on where you are or who they are, mentioning it may end up stalling the entire process (somehow it's impossible for you to have multiple things wrong with you, they must all invalidate each other for some reason... I'll never understand shrinks... one of mine seems to go through a never-ending cycle of "lets put you on anti-depressants" followed by "you seem to have become violent and an all-round bitch", a few months later putting me back on them... then there's one of my other ones wasting entire sessions working on the principle that my hatred of my penis is because I've been reading too many comics and playing too many games)
/rant
Honey, you need to see a new psychiatrist - probably a counsellor specifically.
Mine just curls up in his chair, leans to one side and rambles on to himself. I think he's just in his own, happy little world.
FtM? That should be illegal, people like you are a disgrace!
Same hear. I've sometimes felt like getting rid of my feet. Well, most of the time its just the left foot I really feel like losing (I don't know why but I don't want a left foot). Sometimes I'll walk, right foot normally and left foot on the balls of itself and pretend I'm gimp. I just love the feeling.
I also have a big amputee fetish. And a war fetish. Unfortunately I'm a straight male and so it's very hard to find wounded or mangled female soldiers. I sometimes look up photos of Iraq War casualties in the hopes of finding a chick with her leg blown off. I'll end up just fantasizing that I'm a female soldier, wounded in combat. That I'm captured and tortured and raped.
I guess I don't really like my body.
>>17
I guess im the total opposite of you. When I usually go to sleep, sometimes, my hands/arm will touch a soft spot on my body, it feels really wonderfull and confortable. It is as if my body is greeting me for taking such care of it. I feel unique. Although it's not like i have the greatest body in the world. I just feel unique, mainly because no one has ever touched my body, except for my mother and father who took care of me when I was a baby. :3 Also my brother, since we used to get into corporal fights a lot. (But I don't think that counts. xD) Out of that, I have never been touched by anyone else. I kind'a feel special about it, in terms of love.
But of course, every "pro" has a "con". The con is that I feel sad/bad(really bad) and lonely(not so lonely :3), and sometimes even feel like a social dearanged person.
>I guess I don't really like my body.
Maybe you should try to understand more yourself. I mean, is it really you who don't like your body? or is it someone else who don't like your body? 'cause, you know, people whose sorround you could make you dislike yourself - aka. self hatred.
Because women who want to be men are idiots.
They're born with the superior gender and want to trade it in for my inferior, less versatile, hairy model? Morons! Nature really knows how to load the dice.
What! I'm not an idiot!
Women r inferior to men, I really want a penis so I can go out and rape men, women and children.
tbh I'm 100% sure most guys would wish to be a perfectly sexy female if confronted by a genie asking to grant a multitude of wishes >.<
I mean, think of the possibilities? I'd never be able to leave the mirror, I masturbate all day as it is but I wouldn't even need a PC. So fucking brilliant! Ahh!
For the people making comments about needing to see a psychologist and whatnot- that won't help. OP,you may have BIID.. If you feel like you aren't complete without having a limb missing. There's more examples, I'm just too lazy to copy and paste them here.
I also wish I was an amputee. I doubt I have BIID, though, because I don't feel the NEED to have my legs cut off, (Or feel that I can't live my fullest or that I'm not 'complete' without having my legs amputated) but damn it if I don't think about it all day long and wish it could just happen already.
Anyway, this is something that psychologists can't really help with. If you're caught doing something to yourself to lose a limb, they WILL send you to a psychologist. But it won't help. If you succeed, (and you have BIID) you will feel complete so it won't matter that you're being forced to go. However, going to a psychologist for the anxiety and whatnot is probably a good idea. I also have extreme anxiety/paranoia. And an overactive imagination. And because I have it together, I am constantly daydreaming throughout the day of possible things that could happen to me while I do certain things.
Example: While cutting veggies, I imagine what it'd be like if I cut my fingers off. If it's late at my store and someone comes in, i always imagine them shooting me or stabbing me.
I don't know, you'd think gurochan would have more people that support this kind of thing but in reality, probably 60% of the people here aren't going to take your side and are going to suggest that you A, not do anything like amputating yourself, and B, that you seek medical help.
But some things just can't be helped.
Were that to happen, 99% of the male population would be gone faster than you can say "lesbian utopia".
>>19
>>17 here
It's not outside influence I know that. I don't feel envious or inferior to the bodies of people around me. Even though I would like to be a female, I still don't hate a woman for a good body (I'm more interested in boning them). I'm not a recluse and I don't go around in clothes that hide my body.
I dislike my body probably due to my perfectionism. I constantly look over and correct my art work or things I write (even mundane internet posts). I just look at my body and see something else that could be countlessly upgraded.
>I dislike my body probably due to my perfectionism
Then you should try to look into that perfectionism of yours.
I mean, What makes you think that being a perfectionist is something good? As human beings, we are directly influenced by the environment we live in, that's what makes us a person. Our mind is the result of the environment we live. You should give a good thought on this, 'cause maybe you're not being under influence of some person, but rather something else. Or maybe even something from your past, i don't know. lulz.
You're the only one who can look into yourself and solve this.
Try to change your life-style and see if it resolves.
>You're the only one who can look into yourself and solve this.
>Try to change your life-style and see if it resolves.
Solve what? As you said we are a product of our past and our environment. My past and environment have shaped me into a person with perfectionism who wants to lose a foot (and now that I think about it, a couple of other things as well). I accept this. I don't want to change my life-style or see a shrink to 'fix' this.
You also make it sound like wanting to amputate is a bad thing. I understand that your past has led you to love your body just the way it is but can you understand that my past has led me to want to change mine? People constantly change their bodies to fit their wants (tattoos, pricings, plastic surgery, gender swapping, etc)
I am also aware of the risks of amputation and such. I'm not going to try it anytime soon.
>tbh I'm 100% sure most guys would wish to be a perfectly sexy female if confronted by a genie asking to grant a multitude of wishes >.<
Not true. Male here, main reason for not turning into a female is because i want to marry one and have kids with her. :3
Okay, tell me one REAL advantage of being an amputee and I will remove everything I say. Swim with the river. Not against it. Transforming yourself into some sort of amputee won't bring you any good. People will pass to look down on you, you will become an weight for those around you. You're not supposed to sit and just let things get to you, at least not when they bring you no good. If you've been born liek that, then it's a different condition. But you have not been born as an amputee, have you?
Just try to cut two fingers out of each hand, then get out on the streets and see how people look at you. It will be a radical change on your life style, which you will soon regret.
>I don't want to change my life-style or see a shrink to 'fix' this.
That's actually a good thing, pal. You know what you really want for you, and what you really want is the best for yourself.
Experience tells me you will get over this idea pretty soon.
Being born with a "deffect" is something. Turning yourself into a "deffective" is another. Im pretty sure many deficient people would disagree with this idea of yours. Maybe you should try talking to some before making such a radical thing.
>>27 I so agree with you.
Don't let people tell you what's good for you, just because they think their way of life is "normal".
>>Okay, tell me one REAL advantage of being an amputee
What's the REAL advantage of getting your hair dyed or lose weight or getting a tattoo? Some people might like it, some not - the important thing is what it means to you and if you want it.
I think everybody has a idea of how he or she wants to look and be. This desired image may be formed by the media or the way society wants you to be (that'll be you, >>29 "Swim with the river!") or by your past or by someone you admire, whatever.
Once you've found your personal ideal image, I think you should pursue it.
The more you change yourself or your body to achieve this ideal image, the more "real" you become, you can become YOURSELF.
Who cares if people think you are handsome or pretty or nice or smart - as long as you can look into a mirror and like what you see everything is alright.
And then you might be one of the luckey persons who don't care about the way people look at you on the streets.
Isn't that something admirable?
(Excuse my grammar, I'm damn tired)
Dear, you're an idiot and you have absolutely no place on this board. Stop trying to sound intelligent, you're just making an ass out of yourself.
Like >>31 said, think about it's like dyeing your hair or cutting your hair, getting a tattoo, losing or gaining weight. It depends on how you want to alter your body. Sure, amputation is a bit more extreme, but if you look at it, it's no different than any other body modification. People like huge gaping holes in their ears. I find it disgusting and I would never do it. Similar to me wanting to amputate my legs and you thinking it's too different or even disgusting. To each their own, kiddo.
You have to understand the mindset of some of these people who want this done. I have no problem with my legs, I just want them gone. There is nothing wrong with me because I want to be an amputee. I daydream about me having no legs all day long. Just like I daydream about getting my eyebrow pierced and dyeing my hair a different color. That's how I see it, why can't you?
Sure, there's disadvantages but these people already are very aware of them and are accepting them. They feel that the negatives can't compare with the positives in doing this. Most people with BIID (Not everyone who wants to be an amputee have this) almost always feel happier after they get rid of whatever they felt they didn't need.
It all depends on the purpose. Try to use your head a bit more, don't come here with idiocy.
Bad trolls, bad trolls what you gonna do!? What you gonna do when they come for you? =3
>>33 you say you want both of legs gone, from the hip or from the knee ? Keep in mind that artificial legs for lower leg are pretty easiy to make and use ex:OSCAR Pistorius, but a good artificial knee is really hard to make. I just though you might want to know.
>I am also aware of the risks of amputation and such. I'm not going to try it anytime soon.
Also you should talk to someone with a real deficience, ask for advices on the subject before making such a drastic choice as amputating yourself. Im sure those will be the best advices you will ever hear from someone in your entire life.
Remember, they're not going to grow back and it's never going to be the same again, even if by artificial means. That's a condition you will have remain for the rest of your life.
>>29
Swim with the river. Not against it
if you've been born liek that, then it's a different condition.
Some people were born to swim against the river. Just cause you weren't doesn't mean you can forget that some were.
Above the knee. :3 I wanna do one leg first, and then depending on how it goes, later on do the other.
>Some people were born to swim against the river.
How AnonX is supposed to swim against the river, without no arms or legs is beyond human comprehension. lulz.
>What's the REAL advantage of getting your hair dyed or lose weight or getting a tattoo?
Then I guess that makes it one of the most ridiculous comparisons GuroChan has ever seen, for motives, that shouldn't even be bothered to explain as most of the brainless persons would be capable to comprehend. And that includes people with Downs Syndrome on the top of the list.
But for you I could make an special exception in hopes that people like >>3 would even bother that brain of his, at least, to read. But I won't.
>Dear, you're an idiot and you have absolutely no place on this board.
Sorry to decept you, mate. But I never meant to say that people whose suffer from mental disorders are actual self-handicaps.
>Stop trying to sound intelligent, you're just making an ass out of yourself.
I never tried to sound intelligent, if i did sound as one, it was for some other reason.
You're a fucking moron, you're talking about permanent mutilation that'll leave you DISABLED, spitting in the face of those who've lost a limb through accident or war.
Fuck you, you self-righteous gas bag. This board is for people to seek FANTASY, not real life crap like this. If you seriously consider self-amputation for no reason then you need serious help. Stop pretending it's in any way acceptable and that it's what this board it's for - you freaks can GTFO my gurochan, thanks.
>>43
LoL - Then I was here, thinking that I was the only one who figured that out.
Not quite. I am not spitting in the face of anyone. If it happened to someone and they don't like it, then I feel sorry for them. But I want it. That does not make me evil, that does not mean I am disrespecting anyone. To each their own.
Fuck you, you simply can't understand the mindset of someone who wants to be an amputee. I can't help what I think or feel, and neither can you. So I won't hold it against you for being an idiot. I don't care what is or isn't acceptable to you. And if you go on youtube, or for god's sake USE GOOGLE, there are people who ACTUALLY FUCKING LIKE being an amputee. People who HAD NO CHOICE in the matter. And people who did. It's my body, it's my choice. And I will damn sure do as I please. And your stupidity will have no part in the matter.
You call me/us freaks yet you browse gurochan. Huh. Hypocrisy. That word can't be used here.
So baby, try gaining just a taaad more intelligence before you beat your chest and act all high and mighty.
>You call me/us freaks yet you browse gurochan. Huh. Hypocrisy. That word can't be used here.
You're trying to make use of social proof. You make an assumption that the whole comunity would support such thing as turning yourself into a cripple by taking in consideration that people in here are considered freaks by others, which in turn is not true. But That's when you actually fail, Hard Mode.
>There are people who ACTUALLY FUCKING LIKE being an amputee.
That doesn't imply you have to cut off your own limbs and become one. Some people like to drink pee and eat their own shit, that doesn't mean you should do.
>It's my body, it's my choice. And I will damn sure do as I please. And your stupidity will have no part in the matter.
Hardly would be taken as offense, specially from someone who think it is cool to cut it's own limbs.
>>44
Not to mention the ridiculous comparison between self-handicapping and tattoos, piercings... lol.
Also sage, for obvious troll.
You asshole. I don't care what people like or don't like. If you seriously want to cut off a perfectly healthy limb THEN YOU HAVE A MENTAL DISORDER AND NEED HELP. The end. Don't pretend it's normal, don't pretend it's acceptable and above all DON'T PRETEND THAT THIS IS IN ANY WAY WHAT GUROCHAN IS FOR.
You know what? Do what you want. Hack off all your limbs if you want to. I don't give a shit. But don't expect everyone else to cheer you on. Fine it's your body. Well guess what? This is my body, and my body is exercising it's right to use it's hands to type on this keyboard to tell you that you're a goddamn ignorant, self-serving egotistical insane jackass.
The only one speaking without intelligence here is you, you little prick.
>So baby, try gaining just a taaad more intelligence before you beat your chest and act all high and mighty.
Just in case you are wondering, posts >>49 >>46 is not me.
I would never overreact over such a "trivial" and obvious thing.
Also go back to the troll cave. You still have a lot of skills to learn, kid.
There are several threads like this one.
This is /dis/. Everyone has the right to share their opinions, and OP also has the right to consider them all moot and ignore them completely. Especially if they appear retarded to him/her/it/whatever.
OP, it's your body and your choice. Just don't whine afterwards if it fails to validate your life, because if you want my opinion, it won't. You even said it yourself - amputees are plentiful, and they live a sad life.
Oh, and on a sidenote, no, you're not a hikikomori. Hikikomori can't hack off their limbs without leaving this world unless they were gifted with a 100-square-meter fully equipped med-o-matic as a Lebensraum.
Chillax, kids.
Chillax.
I once shaved my head, going for the bold aggressive look. My neighbour, a cancer patient, talked to me and told me how stupid I was not to care about my hair. He had lost his because of the chemotherapy for his cancer. Now he realized what kind of loss that was, and blatantly insulted me for not showing the same appreciation for hair.
I told him, my hair wasn't his hair. My loss of hair wasn't his loss of hair. I LIKED having the bold look, he didn't. He had no right to instill his preferences onto me. I did not want look any other way than I wanted, just because some stupid cancer patient couldn't distinguish between himself and me.
OP, if you've carefully considered the consequences, the pro's and cons, lose them limbs for all I care. Fuck those other cripples, they're not you, they have not your desires. Whatever you do, don't feel guilty for fuck sake, don't be an idiot.
>>52
Meh, no one is tensed up here, kiddo. :P
Like >>51 said, this is /dis/, and people will share their opnions whether one likes it or not.
>>OP, it's your body and your choice.
Actually, It really doesn't matter if someone actually cut their limbs off or not.
Like you said, people are just giving their opnions on the subject.
>>There are several threads like this one.
Again, the ridiculous comparison.
>You even said it yourself - amputees are plentiful, and they live a sad life.
No, amputees do not have sad or pathetic lifes.As such they have come to accept what they have become, be it an accident or a deffect when they were born.
Sad and pathetic is someone who intends to turn himself into a cripple when he/she is physically healthy and has no need to do so. That's what is really sad and pathetic.
>Fuck those other cripples, they're not you, they have not your desires. Whatever you do, don't feel guilty for fuck sake, don't be an idiot.
Heh. Im no specialist or anything like that, but that seems like a Narcissistic Personality Disorder to me.
Not the averager GuroChanner, really...
